Frustrated.

Moment like this...
I feel guilty.
I feel useless.

I feel i want to fly and go back there ASAP.
I want to stay at home.
I want to be close to her.
I want to take care of her.
I want to cook for her, clean for her.

There's a lot of things I wish I could do..but I couldn't.
Just because I am far away from her, and it's impossible for me to go back so often.

I wish.
I am scared.
I am afraid.

She's my key to Jannah.
She's the reason I am alive & here in this world.

When she get sick, I can't be near her.
I can't examine her.
I can't give her medication.
I can't take care of her.
The fact that I am busy taking care,  give medications & treatment to someone else's mother of father, is frustrating. Really frustrating.

How could I treat someone else's mother, while I left my mother alone, sick at home and need someone else to bring her to seek treatment?
Am I useless?

I feel hopeless.