"No. Long distance relationships aren’t cute. They’re not romantic. Long distance relationships feel like trying to turn the volume down on the thoughts of what the person you’re in love with is doing because that sound is blocking out everything else, just to find out that it’s impossible. It’s the irrational fear that he’s gonna realize it’s not worth it. It’s feeling yourself slowly forgetting how he smells or how warm and clean and dry his hand is when it’s holding yours or what his voice sounds like at 2 am. It’s crying. A lot of crying. It’s trying to explain why you’re still holding on, to your friends, unable to find the right words, because they wouldn’t understand anyway.
It’s hearing your song on the radio and feeling like your rib cage is shrinking for a second. It’s walking at night, having to stop and squeeze yourself as tight as you can to keep yourself from falling apart. It’s hearing a word he used to say, or seeing someone walking in the same sauntering way he does or dressing the way he would and feeling your heart sinking in your chest as you realize he’s not here. It’s envying your friends for having their love right next to them. It’s longing for his touch or his sweet breath as he’s about to kiss you or simply the joy of being in his presence. It’s realizing that the details of your memories are starting to fade. Long distance is not cute. It’s painful and stinging and difficult. But for some reason it feels whole to see that person again in the end."